


Mourning (and its friend, Change)

by Silky_John



Series: An fe3h modern au that no one asked for (by Silky_John) [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Homophobia, I mean you tell me is this angst??, I'm trying, Light Angst, Mentioned Glenn Fraldarius, Mentioned Lambert Egitte Blaiddyd, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silky_John/pseuds/Silky_John
Summary: The entirety of one's approach to life can be drastically changed by a single event that starts and ends in a matter of seconds.On an ordinary winter day, on the road to Duscur Peninsula, a car accident brought change to the lives of a number of people.OR:How the death of loved ones can change the relationships between those who knew and/or loved them.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius & Galatea
Series: An fe3h modern au that no one asked for (by Silky_John) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976383
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. JOSE

**Author's Note:**

> Lol, back with a new work, and this one was draining, but necessary.
> 
> While I do taf this with homophobia, I do feel that it's mild, but that it was still worth pointing out.
> 
> I just needed to clear this but of info so we can move on in this strange AU of mine, yay.
> 
> There's five chapters total to this, and all of them are complete, but I'll upload them each day of this week as opposed to all at once.
> 
> This work's tags will be updated as the story progresses.
> 
> Please point out any mistakes if you spot them.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this and stay till the end.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The entirety of one's approach to life can be drastically changed by a single event that starts and ends in a matter of seconds.
> 
> On an ordinary winter day, on the road to Duscur Peninsula, a car accident brought change to the lives of a number of people.
> 
> OR:
> 
> How the death of loved ones can change the relationships between those who knew and/or loved them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, back with a new work, and this one was draining, but necessary.
> 
> While I do taf this with homophobia, I do feel that it's mild, but that it was still worth pointing out.
> 
> I just needed to clear this but of info so we can move on in this strange AU of mine, yay.
> 
> There's five chapters total to this, and all of them are complete, but I'll upload them each day of this week as opposed to all at once.
> 
> This work's tags will be updated as the story progresses.
> 
> Please point out any mistakes if you spot them.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this and stay till the end.

"Get out," Sylvain hears his mother say, tone icy.

He's sitting in his bedroom with his ear pressed against the door. His father had sent him up, saying that he didn't need to see or hear "A conversation between adults".

Sylvain doesn't understand why his brother is taking part in the conversation, seeing as Miklan is seventeen and therefore not an adult by the law.

The conversation doesn't even sound particularly "adult", especially when its participants start throwing around words Sylvain is not familiar with, but feels are meant to be insulting.

The argument starts escalating.

"You two are terrible parents!" Miklan shouts.

"What don't you understand!?" His father roars back, "We're no longer yours, and you're sure as hell not ours! NO SON OF MINE WOULD GO AROUND KISSING BOYS, YOU BLOODY–!"

Silence, save for the heavy breathing of his father. Sylvain exhales, not sure when he'd even started holding his breath.

"Fine," he hears Miklan say. There's a lot of shuffling, and the door to Miklan's room opens, then shuts.

A few minutes later, the sound of the oaken front door being slammed rings throughout the house.

Before Sylvain has time to process what he's just overheard, he hears the sound of his mother's heels.

She's coming to his room, and he's scared; maybe just a bit. Only a little bit. 

Scared that she'll know that he'd been eavesdropping, that she'll tell his father, and that he'll be punished for it.

Afraid that she'll sugar coat how she and her husband had just kicked out Miklan for something Sylvain had never thought of as wrong, immoral, or deserving of punishment.

His hands are trembling as he holds a book (Kyphon: The Lonely Swordsman) and pretends to read it, and he struggles to swallow when his mother turns the door knob.

"Hello, sweetheart," his mother says gently, "how was your day?"

Sylvain's mind goes blank. He never thought that his mother would act as if nothing had happened.

The softness of her tone and smile was very convincing, but the coldness that sits in her eyes sends chills down Sylvain's spine.

"It was fine," he says quietly. Any louder and the wavering in his voice will be audible.

"That's great," she says, kissing his forehead and leaving the room.

Sylvain doesn't like the game his mother is playing, but he knows it won't be pleasant if he doesn't play along.

***

The week after– the week after nothing, apparently. His parents seem to want everyone to pretend that Miklan didn't ever exist.

Now that the son whom they held shouting matches with simply no longer is, all attention is turned to Sylvain.

His mother asks very invasive questions while his father pretends to be interested in things other than the career Sylvain would be pursuing and how it would affect "the Gautier Legacy".

It's almost a relief when he sits at the dinner table one evening and isn't greeted by his parents' questions and nagging.

Almost.

There's a new kind of tension hanging over the table today. His mother's expression is grim, and his father looks like he's about to go into hysterics.

No conversation is held, and the meal (Roast pheasant, berry sauce, and creamed potatoes; his favourite) is beginning to taste like cardboard in his mouth.

The silence feels louder once the dishes are cleared. Sylvain is about to ask what's happening, but his mother takes a breath, the kind one takes before they speak.

"Sylvain," she says, her tone brittle, "I have some news for you."

Sylvain is beginning to feel as sick as his father looks. He doesn't like it when his mother takes that tone, it always means she has very bad news.

"There was... an accident, on the road to Duscur Peninsula."

Sylvain stops breathing for a bit. Was it Miklan? Was he okay? Was he Injured? What was he doing going to Duscur? Aas that why–

"Lambert, Patricia, and Glenn, they... they passed away in that accident."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun, right?
> 
> Starting with Sylvain made life just a bit easier.
> 
> Also, I wanted to point out that I'm in love with the Miklan who lives in my head.
> 
> Also, I have a lot of... feelings and ideas when it comes to Sylvain's Parents, Miklan, and that whole relationship. There's reasons for how things are, reasons we'll get to explore soon.
> 
> Leave Kudos if you liked it, leave a comment if you have anything to tell me, and find me   
> here if you want.


	2. BRANDL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News of the accident reaches the Galatea household, a wake is held, and Ingrid has a go at playing character analysis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tags change (at least, they will)
> 
> Kinda hard keeping up with stuff since I have exams coming up, at least I finished writing this.
> 
> Honestly, I don't know is this feels like an angst, you tell me (lol... a word I use too much)
> 
> Now we get into it; here's a character who was actually attached to Glenn. Enjoy.
> 
> P.S. today there's a long end note, gonna go a bit into what was going through my mind as I wrote.

When her father gives her the news, a feeling of nausea settles over Ingrid.

But It's winter, and food is expensive in Faerghus, so vomiting isn't something she can afford to do.

Lambert is dead... _Glenn is dead._ Her father looks absolutely miserable, and like he's struggling to hold himself together.

Ingrid ignores the prickling feeling of tears threatening to fall from her eyes and wraps her arms around her father, and feels even worse when she realises the can feel his ribs poking her arms.

Ingrid's father sobs silently as he embraces her. He's lost a best friend, and he's lost a boy whom he saw and treated as a son.

Ingrid doesn't realise she's getting as much comfort as she's giving.

An hour later, they're still in each others arms, and she isn't aware that tears are falling from her eyes as well.

***

The wake is... interesting.

A more intimate gathering with only relatives and close friends is held in the Fraldarius home. 

A lot of legal jargon was being thrown around about Lambert's property, including the house he and his family had lived in, and so Lambert and Partricia's wake is celebrated alongside Glenn's.

It had taken a week to properly identify all the remains, clean them adequately, and.... Ingrid is getting queasy just thinking about it. It's a wonder Dimitri had survived the accident and come out mostly unmarked; at least on the outside.

She feels much better after spending most of the week leading to this day sitting in silence with her father. Tired of staring at the images of Lambert, Patricia, and... Glenn, Ingrid looks around at the rest of the people present.

There are individuals she never thought she'd see in her life, like Mr Ionius von Hresvelg. Her eyes quickly pass over such people; she knows of them, but she doesn't know them.

The first people she looks at are the Gautiers. Mr Gautier looks like he's a few seconds away from having a violent break down, and Mrs Gautier's face and posture are extremely grim.

Mr Gautier's watery and unfocused stare seems to be on Lambert's picture, but Mrs Gautier is staring at the wall beyond the photo, as if she is mourning someone who isn't at the wake.

Miklan isn't anywhere to be seen (maybe he had been visiting with the Lonato's, and simply couldn't make it to the wake).

Sylvain isn't next to his parents, and is instead standing beside Felix. His expression and stance look unbelievably similar to his mother's, and just like her, he looks as if he's thinking of someone other than the people whose wake they're here to celebrate.

Felix's face looks blank. Felix's face is blank. Ingrid has never seen him look so... emotionless before. It is, frankly, very unsettling.

From what Ingrid can see, he's standing as far from his father as he possibly can without it being considered rude. 

He doesn't seem to be aware of the fact that his hand is in Sylvain's, or that they gently squeeze each other's hands every couple of seconds. 

It's still a wonder to Ingrid, how effortlessly close the two of them are; how seamlessly they fit into each other's space.

Her eyes land on Rodrigue next. The man looks like he's about to collapse. His skin is sallow, and it looks as if Ingrid's father's arm around his shoulders is the only thing keeping him grounded.

Ingrid can't imagine how much worse the man would have been fairing had Dimitri died as well.

Ah, and Dimitri...

Again, it's a wonder that he came out of the accident unscathed.

But... there's a certain unhinged light in his eyes. He looks like he's coming apart at the seams, and Edelgard's hand in his doesn't seem to be helping at all.

Finally done scanning the room, Ingrid turns her eyes back to the photo of Glenn. It's sad, but not as unbearable as it had been when she had first been told of his death.

Perhaps it's a bit crazy, but Ingrid feels like there's a long, rough, road ahead, and at it's end, big change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I get to show you all one of my favourite small bits of information; Galatea doesn't eat (much). While in-game it's due to the famine in the Galatea reason, I believe that Faerghus as a whole suffers winter famine, and the Galatea is hit worst by it. Food is expensive when it's availability is limited.
> 
> We also see the Gautiers, the Fraldarius..es (... Fraldarii?). Yes, Felix and Sylvain holding hands was a sign... a sign of frieNDSHIP.
> 
> So:
> 
> Ingrid says some very messed up things in a very specific support. The conclusion of the support I have in mind is one of the worst conclusions to date; hands down one of the least satisfying supports ever.
> 
> While all the things I've said in the previous paragraph hold true, I can't help but love Ingrid. I think that for sometime she was the crutch of the Faerghus Four, because honestly, after the tragedy, Dimitri would probably have been alone.
> 
> While it's not healthy to constantly play support *stares at Mercedes* sometimes it's necessary to compromise... I'm going on a tangent, aren't I.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is just a reflection of how I feel about Ingrid, and who I think she is.
> 
> I think she gets comfort from giving comfort in certain situations, I think she has a very good grasp on the psyche of those close to her (a high EQ, a trait I'd say Sylvain has as well) and I think she was the first to recover from the loss of the Tragedy of Duscur.
> 
> Anyway, as usual, leave kudos if you liked this, tell me what you think in the comments, or come find me on twitter.
> 
> Until tomorrow's update.
> 
> Love.


	3. HUGO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It can be the worst thing in one's life; losing a loved one. It's even worse when one does not know who exactly the person they lost was to them.
> 
> OR:
> 
> I chose to project certain issues I have about parent-child-sibling relationships and the character I chose happened to be our beloved Felix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH WAIT... anyway, this chapter is a mess, lol. I had thoughts that I had so much trouble putting into words, ughh.
> 
> Do point out any mistakes you see as you read, it'd be highly appreciated.
> 
> This chapter was pretty hard to write, but it wasn't the hardest one to write (it takes second place). Well, at least it's out of the way now.
> 
> Without further ado, let's dive into the chapter. There'll be an end note talking about what was running through my mind as I wrote this, it'll be long as well, so buckle up.

Felix knows that he'll miss Lambert. The man had been like a father to something he can't say for most other adult males in his life (Galatea is the only other exception).

He hadn't known Patricia well, and he's not one to miss people he hadn't been close to.

And Glenn... Felix doesn't know how to feel about Glenn. He doesn't know _what_ to feel about Glenn.

For the longest time, he had seen his elder brother as a milestone; the greatest hurdle on the path to... to greatness (his father's affections, but that's not something he's willing to admit, even to himself).

Grappling, fencing, kendo... he had picked them up properly just like his brother, not because he enjoyed them (though he did), but because they were a means to an end; besting Glenn.

Now he's standing before his brother's open grave. The coffin is inside the pit, waiting to be buried, and the people around him all take turns throwing a handful of soil into it.

He has soil in his own hand, but he hesitates.

 _"Throw soil ,"_ the Archbishop had said _,"As a symbol of your love for the deceased. Let it travel with them to the bosom of the goddess, that she may help you move on."_

Felix isn't sure. Did he... had he loved Glenn, or had he only seen him as a goal?

That's not a question he knows the answer to (an untruth, he knows in his heart), or a question he has the time to answer in that moment. 

He can feel Ingrid and Sylvain's eyes on his back, and they know him too well for him to have the luxury of dallying this long

He throws the soil into the grave, and pretends his hand doesn't tremble as he does.

***

The day after the funeral, Felix hurls himself back into training.

He trains to be even better in the things he already does, and picks up new things in the process.

His father is using all his free time to coddle Dimitri. It hurts that he rushed to his side before even thinking about consoling his own son, though that's not something Felix is ready to confront.

He seeks perfection in the way he swings his shinai instead.

And Dimitri... he seems hung about the specifics of the accident. It's disturbing to watch him convince Rodrigue to tear up at the evidence so soon after the burials.

Felix can see the makings of a fine lawyer in the him, but he can also see the beginnings of some form of crazy (Glenn would have been sad, sad to see his best friend obsessing over his death–) and that's not something Felix wants to deal with.

He practices stability in his grappling stance instead.

***

Ingrid and her father visit sometimes. When they do, Felix will put down his épée and sit with his friend.

Ingrid talks to him about many things, and it takes his mind of the father that isn't fathering him, or the lawyer-in-the-making that is Dimitri.

The first few times she had mentioned Glenn, Felix had stood up and left her where she had been sitting. He can't discuss his late brother with other people when he still doesn't know how to feel about him.

She's careful to skirt certain topics in all subsequent conversations.

They talk about food (her eyes seem to light up whenever they do) and the weather.

Ingrid also gives him a certain look when she eventually leaves him to talk to Dimitri. 

Every. Single. Time.

However, Felix is an obstinate boy and refuses to do things unless he is ready to.

Ingrid eventually stops trying to nudge him with looks. She seems to know that he'll eventually deal with or open up about whatever is biting him, she just doesn't know when.

***

The Galateas visit regularly throughout winter and continue to do so even after it's end, but Sylvain's visits only start increasing in frequency in spring.

His smile is brighter than ever, but his eyes are starting to look uncannily like his mother's.

Mr and Mrs Gautier rarely ever drop by, and only visit for the Feast of Garlands. 

Felix hasn't seen Miklan at all, which is surprising when he takes into consideration how close he and Glenn had seemed.

"Where are your parents and your brother, Sylvain?" Felix had once heard his father ask him gently.

"They're... mourning," he'd answered simply. Felix got the feeling that there was more to that statement that Sylvain was giving, but his father hadn't pushed, and he decided to follow suit.

Whenever Sylvain comes over, Felix tries (to no avail) to get him to have a friendly match. 

The boy is strong, and fighting a physically stronger opponent would be a good way to refine his skill.

Instead of taking of his shirt and taking stance, Sylvain somehow always gets Felix to sit under the noa Fruit tree with him and talk.

The red-head, Felix notes, avoids all and any topics that involve his family life, and especially Miklan.

He instead focuses on talking about how beautiful one girl or other had looked, or the best kind of chocolates to woo a girl, or just girls; things Felix wasn't the most interested in.

Felix listens anyway. Though it's boring to hear Sylvain talk about romance, it's not boring to hear Sylvain talk. 

However, it feels as if Sylvain is trying to convince himself of something, but he doesn't push to find out what. 

Sylvain can be even more obstinate and obtuse than Felix, and won't open up unless he's willing or cornered.

***

With the constant presence of his two friends and his commitment to his practice, time flies.

Spring turns to summer, and the question he refuses to answer settles at the back of his mind.

Sports are a welcome distraction, but he feels, somewhere deep within him, that one day he will have to answer himself.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Épée: a fencing blade
> 
> Shinai: a kendo stick
> 
> Felix, Leonie and Ingrid are what one could term "legendary units". They have good strengths and no weaknesses (or an unimportant weakness in Felix's case. Lone wolf is a good skill, so authority isn't of consequence). 
> 
> The sports he plays are important, bear that in mind.
> 
> Yay, concluding chapters is unbelievably hard.
> 
> So? What was going on here?
> 
> Well, my first thing is that the first validation most children seek will be from their guardian, no matter what kind of person that guardian may be.
> 
> We can talk about Rodrigue himself later, but I will say that due to the way in which he raised his sons, Felix's love for his brother and his competitive streak are sitting in the same place in his heart.
> 
> Basically, though Felix loves his brother, because of what he perceives as "conditional affection", he sees being as good as his brother as a condition for affection.
> 
> Him wanting to be BETTER that Glenn is simply his own competitive nature compounding things.
> 
> Rodrigue rushing to Dimitri fast doesn't help the situation. It's not a nice feeling; family picking another over you.
> 
> There's a lot to discuss about Felix's psyche, what do you guys think?
> 
> Anyway, we also see the appearance of my beloved Mr Galatea. You'll see why he's my beloved soon enough.
> 
> I'm sure you can tell who the last two people to see this story from are, and I'm sure you can tell whose coming next, so watch out for that.
> 
> If you liked this, please leave kudos, if you have anything to tell me leave a comment, and you can come find me here if you'd like to.
> 
> Until next time, I guess.
> 
> Love.


	4. ACHILLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodrigue is concerned about Dimitri, and tries to be there for him in his own way. One day he wakes up to the fact that he hasn't spoken to his own son.
> 
> OR:
> 
> Rodrigue's parenting skills suck when it comes to his own children, Galatea plays the role of dependable friend, and Rodrigue proceeds to calmly take us through the way he experiences a break down of values.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the hardest chapter to write. It wasn't just hard to put in words, it was also emotionally draining to do. When I was first working on this, I reached my saturation point multiple times, and this is where progress really slowed.
> 
> Anyway, this is my take on death and how it affects people. Basically, not everyone gets to completely break down over someone's death immediately.
> 
> Rodrigue is notorious for this because of one special thing: compartmentalisation.
> 
> We'll talk about that more later.
> 
> Today, we also see my favourite... MR GALATEA.
> 
> Lol, I hope you enjoy this, please point out any mistakes you see.

Rodrigue feels like he's aged at least a decade, yet only a handful of months have passed. Galatea always finds new grey hairs on his head whenever he visits.

Lambert left a lot behind after his death. Rodrigue, as his closest confidant, is the only one who can handle these things. 

Even Rufus can't pick up everything his brother had left behind.

For the sake of public relations and public image, however, Rufus takes the throne of the company that was once Lambert's. 

Lambert and Patricia also left behind a son. A son who, after the burial of his parents, had sat and turned over his memories of the accident.

Anyone else would have considered the boy's obsession with the accident abnormal or unsettling, but all Rodrigue can see is the makings of a genius lawyer.

Dimitri convinces Rodrigue to look more into the matter as well, and the more he digs, the more he finds.

The determination Dimitri has amazes Rodrigue, and he tells Ingrid's father as much when he next visits.

"The boy reminds me of Lambert. He might not be too interested in it, but he'll make a fine lawyer."

"Just like him, huh?" Galatea says, giving Rodrigue a knowing smile.

Rodrigue pretends he doesn't understand what the expression means.

***

The Gautiers are an interesting bunch; they always have been. Mr and Mrs Gautier visit less and less, but they seem more and more miserable every time they make an appearance.

Sylvain visits so often and stays so long that he's practically become a member of the Fraldarius household. His smile is also becoming a lot like his mother's, something Rodrigue believes in his heart isn't the best of signs.

Miklan is never spoken of and never appears. Rodrigue suspects that all the strange behaviour has to do with the boy, but he's too busy to be concerned with anyone else's family affairs.

He talks about his thoughts on the matter to Ingrid's father when the two next visit, and Galatea simply looks at him in surprise.

"You didn't know?"

"Know what, Blondie?" Asks Rodrigue.

"He doesn't live with them anymore."

Rodrigue raises his eyebrows. Miklan is still seventeen; not even old enough to live on his own.

"Just between you and me, I think they kicked him out," says Galatea, "I just don't know why, and they shoot me down every time I ask."

***

A week later, Rodrigue is walking briskly past his courtyard. There's been a break through in the accident's investigation, something about some Duscur people.

Something compels him to stop (but he has so much work to do now, and so little time to finish it–) and so he stops.

He looks out onto the courtyard and sees Sylvain sitting under the noa tree. Past Sylvain, Ingrid is having a grapple match with... Glenn?

'No,' his mind supplies, 'Glenn is gone.' But as he looks at the way Felix holds himself and closes in on Ingrid in the makeshift ring, he feels as if he's looking at his late son... his Glenn.

"Nice form, son," he hears himself say.

They all turn to look at him, and he zeroes in on his boy's expression. Felix looks at Rodrigue with a blank expression. For a long (and very awkward moment) all they do is stare at each other. 

Eventually, Ingrid clears her throat. "Thanks, uncle," she says.

"I, uh..." says Rodrigue, walking backwards. Truly, a fine display of intelligence. "I'll see you at dinner, Felix."

No response.

Rodrigue takes that as his cue to turn and leave properly. He pretends that the stares he feels burning into his back don't make him walk at twice his usual pace.

***

"He didn't respond to you?" Says Galatea.

Rodrigue shakes his head, frustrated. 

Galatea laughs, the kind of laugh that meant he knew something and was getting tired of waiting for the rest of his friends to catch on.

"Out with it, Blondie," Rodrigue says, sighing.

"Rodrigue," the blond says with a serious tone, all traces of laughter gone from his voice, "when was the last time you and your son spoke to each other?"

***

Rodrigue finds that sometimes, when he's alone with no urgent work on his hands and no Blond Stickman to talk to, he pours himself a glass of kirsch liquor and sits in front of the fire place in his study.

He never lights a fire; the summer is too hot for that. Instead, he stares at the wood, neatly stacked and waiting to be ignited.

'Lambert's favourite,' he thinks to himself whenever his focus shifts from the hearth to the glass of liquor in his hands.

He doesn't ever drink the alcohol; he's been dry since the passing of his wife.

Rodrigue instead thinks of the state of his life now that he's essentially his late friend's father. He thinks about the boy's knack for picking at details when he chooses to worry over something. 

He thinks about how under his guardianship, Dimitri has stopped gushing about his trip to Derdriu and the boy he met there; how concerning it is that he doesn't smile much.

Rodrigue also thinks about the sudden spike in the amount of grey in his hair. Galatea is getting increasingly concerned about how much work he's taking on at once.

Today, he also thinks about his relationship with his son.

Felix had been prickly about talking to him when he'd recieved the news of Glenn's death, but Rodrigue hadn't been too worried.

"He'll work though it," he thought.

He's starting to see the flaw in his logic, seeing as Felix had stopped trying to talk to him after Rodrigue had given his eulogy to Glenn... it was it when Dimitri moved in...?

Rodrigue doesn't know where to start, or when it started. He doesn't know how to fix this.

"You're too concerned with the matters of the dead you know," Galatea had told him, "the dead who aren't even truly yours. Have you properly mourned your first son, Rodrigue? Have you talked to your second?"

"No," Rodrigue whispers to the glass in his hands, "I haven't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you see why I love Galatea (at least, my head canon version of him since we never actually get to meet him in-game)
> 
> So, compartmentalising, eh? 
> 
> In my head, I see Rodrigue being unable to fully handle the deaths, and his mind subconsciously shelving away the full impact of the accident in a "for later" box.
> 
> But, compartmentalising doesn't fully help unless you have something to keep you fully occupied. Helping Dimitri sort through exhibits and evidence and alleged happenings was definitely distracting enough, and it's close enough to the death of Lambert and Glenn that Rodrigue can pretend he's handled the issue properly.
> 
> Eventually, however, his brain starts projecting. Him seeing Glenn instead of Felix isn't the first or last time, but it's the most jarring. 
> 
> So jarring, in fact, that Rodrigue had to tell his dear old Blondie. Galatea saw it as the perfect time to make the wake up call, and he was right.
> 
> Rodrigue sitting and staring at a glass of Lambert's favourite liquor (Kirsch liquor, made from Magdred Kirsch, and in-game fruit) but NEVER drinking it, is therapeutic to him in some way.
> 
> Again, projection and association, Rodrigue sees the drink and Lambert as inseparable, and essentially thinks of it as a piece of Lambert. There's a lot of symbolism behind what he does in those moments, and even he isn't aware of it.
> 
> We also talk about Dimitri NOT talking about his Derdriu trip anymore, WHICH LEADS US TO: this work is part two in a series. If you haven't already, go check part one out here.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sure your note here to see my analyse and explain my psychoanalysis of Rodrigue, but you can always ask me about it if you want.
> 
> If you liked this work, please leave kudos, if you have anything to say, comment it, and today, I'll leave you a link to a ferdibert piece I drew some time ago.
> 
> Goodbye.
> 
> And as always, love.


	5. ALEXANDRE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri, having been present in the car that crashed, was the most affected by the deaths of his best friend and his parents. Let's see how he's doing now, in the autumn of the next year.
> 
> OR:
> 
> Now that all parts of this relationship have hit the bottom, whether it was in story (Rodrigue) or not (Sylvain), we see things looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit sad that this is the last chapter. I was emotionally invested in this work.
> 
> I won't leave too long an end note this time, but we'll dive into the reason for some choices I made.(this is a lie, lol. Buckle up for my end note)
> 
> Also, the Noa Tree is my beloved.
> 
> Enjoy.

Dimitri's life goes grey after the accident.

Even months after the funeral, as the noa tree starts to shed it's greens in favour of deep reds, he's not of out of it... whatever it is.

He feels as if he's watching himself go through the motions of life, eating, sleeping, studying, but not quite living.

Staying in the Fraldarius household doesn't make it any better. 

It feels strange to walk through the corridors he played in, knowing that the friend he shared these memories with isn't there to make new ones with him.

***

Rodrigue had been more than eager to help Dimitri when he raised his suspicions about the accident having been planned.

"It would make sense," Rodrigue said when Dimitri talked about what he had seen that day (he hadn't fainted from the impact of the accident, something that still amazes him).

They work almost tirelessly after that to look into what happened that day. Uncle Rufus... helps. In his own way.

His father's brother isn't incompetent, he just doesn't have the drive of a boy who thinks he's empty, or a man who's overly attached.

The Gautiers help with their skills in law, but they rarely ever actually visit. Whenever they do, Dimitri notes the tumultuous look on Mrs Gautier's and the not-all-there look on Mr Gautier's face.

Galatea is the only truly sane person who ever walks into Rodrigue's study. He seems to be the only thing keeping the man from staying up all week just to move things along faster.

"We're so close," Rodrigue repeats after every call from the Faerghus Peninsula Police Department; after every new angle.

While Dimitri would like to find out who it was that caused the "accident", he's worried that Rodrigue's face will forever have a furrowed brow.

"You know," Galatea whispers loudly to Dimitri one day, "This man and your father were a crazy pair when we were in school, they–"

"What nonsense are you telling the boy now, Blondie," Rodrigue says, a small, tired, but genuine smile on his lips.

"Come on, no one's told him about the one time with Professor B. and the chapel."

Rodrigue tries for an unimpressed look, but all Dimitri can see is a man trying (and failing) to hold back laughter.

Galatea bursts out laughing, his emerald eyes sparkling with mirth.

Dimitri feels as if his father is in the room as well, laughing at what must have been a wild story.

This is one of the few times he's thought of his father and felt happy, and so when laughter bubbles to his lips, he let's it out and revels in the feeling.

***

Felix doesn't talk to him. His friends visit though. 

Sylvain practically lives with them, spending the night most times. He exchanges formalities with Dimitri, and not much else. The blond can't help but note how much Sylvain's eyes look like Miklan's.

Miklan... where had the boy been? Hadn't he been Glenn's friend too?

Ingrid visits, but less often than Sylvain. She lives much, much, further than the Gautiers do, and can't make as many believable excuses to be out of school as Sylvain can.

She talks to Dimitri. She talks with Dimitri, about things beyond greetings and the state of the weather, and she gently nudges him to go out more. 

It seems Ingrid is aware of the fact that Felix and Dimitri haven't spoken since the wake and is trying her best to push for them to get past whatever is going on between them.

He always gives an excuse to not go out, and he can tell that Ingrid always knows how untrue the excuses are, but she leaves him to his own devices.

He still watches from the window as Felix plays a round of 21 with Sylvain, or practices his free throws as Sylvain tries (and fails) not to stare.

"If Glenn had picked up basketball..." Dimitri thinks to himself sometimes.

In those moments, he'll turn away from the window and get back to turning his brain over for more information to give Rodrigue.

Memories are one thing, but seeing Glenn in Felix as a whole other thing, a thing he doesn't want to deal with.

***

_You know, I'll teach you how to grapple one of these days," Glenn tells Dimitri, voice lazy._

_"I already know how to grapple," Dimitri argues, a bit petulant._

_"No. None of that crap you and my brother's friends do in the courtyard," Glenn tells him, amused, "I'm going to teach you how to do it like a pro. I'm sure you want to amaze that boy from Derdriu the next time you meet."_

_"I'm not sure I'll get to meet him again..."_

_Dimitri flushes as Glenn laughs; sharp, but not unkind. He pats Dimitri's shoulder._

_"Do your 'grappling skills' impress Ingrid?" Dimitri asks, feeling satisfaction when Glenn turns pink._

_They both burst out in uncontrollable laughter, and Glenn ruffles the blond boy's hair._

_"You know, I–"_

***

Dimitri struggles to open his eyes. Waking up is harder on some days than on others.

It's always hardest to wake up when he's been dreaming of Glenn, or his parents, because waking up makes the fact that they're dead more real.

One hour later, still lying listlessly in his bed, he hears a knock on the door.

No one who's knocked on the door these past few months has knocked that sharply, so he doesn't know who it is. His mind first thinks of Glenn, so he writes it off as him hallucinating.

The person on the other side of the door (as it turns out, Dimitri hadn't been hallucinating) doesn't wait for Dimitri to respond.

The handle turns and the door swings open to reveal... Felix.

"Get up," the boy tells Dimitri, who's staring at him dumbly.

"Did you leave your mind in the study last night? I'm telling you to get out of the bed."

Dimitri gets out from under the blankets and stands beside the bed, still staring at Felix. He never thought that he'd be the one to talk to him first.

"Stop staring at me," Felix says, looking at Dimitri as if he was starting to regret talking to him.

"Why?"

"I'm going to teach you how to grapple."

***

  
"You're strong," Felix tells Dimitri after having managed to pin him several times, "but you don't have any technique."

From where he's lying in the courtyard, Dimitri can see Felix's chest heaving, and bruises blossoming on his arms. Ingrid is staring intently at the two of them, while Sylvain's eyes are flitting about as if he doesn't want to stare. 

"You'll make a good practice partner," Felix says. Was that... a compliment? From the way Ingrid and Sylvain's eyes widen, it seems it is, and a rare one at that.

"Thanks," says Dimitri, just a bit awkwardly.

Felix snorts and holds out his hand to help Dimitri up.

"We can work on your form next time." In that moment, Felix's face looks a bit softer, and the corners of his mouth don't look so sharp. A smile (or what Felix can muster as a smile at the moment).

Dimitri takes his hand and stands up, dusting himself off. 

"Yeah," he says, giving Felix a small smile, "next time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't aiming for Dimitri replacing Glenn with his brother. That would be terrible, because people who project to cope go through a terrible emotional wreck when they eventually realise that the person their projecting onto isn't what they're projecting onto them.
> 
> Dimitri's recovery is coming out of his head, but not in the way you (probably, I don't want to think in your stead) think. I want him to reach a point where his memories are things to cherish, and not things to live in or dread (cause both those things are unhealthy when your physical body is in the present).
> 
> Anyway, a lot of my decisions on this work were on the fly, while a few others were set (e.g. the fact that each character would get a POV).
> 
> I toyed with the idea of getting the same general plot then showing it through different eyes, but I'm not at that level in writing (yet). It'd be redundant.
> 
> Telling a semi-cohesive story with time progressing through the eyes of different characters definitely helped, though.
> 
> The flowing time definitely helped me deal with the more tricky characters. I definitely could have dived into Rodrigue's psyche immediately after the accident, but that would have been too emotionally draining for me. 
> 
> Dimitri's mind would have had too much noise, and while there's people good at writing him at that point in time (Asael, Unraelated, check them both out) I'm not one of them (yet)
> 
> It just sucks that I used Sylvain as a 700 word foil for the the beginning.
> 
> I enjoyed writing this, and now it's done. That was fun.
> 
> So, what do I have lined up for you? A lot, actually, but first, I think I'll give you a dimiclaude (but not from this AU, I'd like to remove myself for a bit... maybe for the next two works?) 
> 
> Anyway, as always, leave a kudos if you liked it, leave a comment on your thoughts (I'd love to hear what you think, it's fun to engage), and come find me here if you'd like.
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> As always, Love.


End file.
